Reviews

January 09th, 2014

1/9/2014

Christie Reminds Us of Which Steve Martin Skit? (Updated)

Steve was outraged. We all should be.

“Oh, no. Now who would do a thing like that?”

This was the old skit, in which Steve Martin, as a Roman centurion, steps in a bag of excrement, planted by the Vandals.

The words, funny on Saturday Night Live in 1979, came to mind this week as we learned that people from Gov. Christie’s office squeezed an approach to the George Washington Bridge for four days – and joked about it.

Who would do a thing like that – inconveniencing, endangering, thousands, maybe millions of people, to get back at a local mayor who had not endorsed Christie.

An old lady died after her ambulance was delayed. Her daughter doesn't seem to blame the slow care but the ambulance people say the little practical joke out of Trenton added minutes to the hospital run, while the public servants were making jokes on their email.

They all need to go. On Thursday Christie fired his assistant, somebody named Kelly, whose next job needs to be working at Dunkin Donuts or an Arby’s, where she can wait on the should-be-former governor. People had health and safety and lateness problems because of these latter-day Vandals.

Christie gave a long press conference that sounded to me like the cheesiest defense I have heard since a certain candidate defended his wife's cloth coat and his little dog Checkers.

Kids, check out this guy from 1952:

http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/richardnixoncheckers.html

Now the question is, who would do a thing like that?

A few names came to mind.

As it happened, the ruinous transcript emerged on Jan. 8 – Elvis’s birthday. It was also the 50th anniversary of the State of the Union speech by President Lyndon Baines Johnson, when he proposed a war on poverty – a noble task, particularly in light of current callous members of Congress who do not care about the poor.

Johnson, a New Deal Democrat, had the War on Poverty right. But then he went power-crazy and wound up killing tens of thousands of his own troops and millions of Vietnamese because he could not admit a mistake.

He slinked out of office, announcing he would not run again in 1968.

Power corrupts.

Now who would do a thing like that?”

Nixon, I thought. Nixon.

He replaced LBJ as President, and within four years he was directing a campaign against his enemies. The other party, that is. He needed the Watergate burglary the way Christie needed to dump on the mayor of Fort Lee. Had to have revenge for slights, real or imagined.

Christie is an overt bully, so was Johnson. Nixon was more insidious, playing the smarm card at all times, rubbing his hands together, unctuously, but the tapes reveal his paranoia, his prejudices.

Where do we get these people? Is there some deep recess, or abscess, in the American soul that produces people like Johnson and Nixon and Christie? Do we like them? Admire them? Want to be them?

“Well, that's just sick! I guess this is just another example of the decline of the Roman Empire!”

Steve Martin’s Centurion had it right.

Here’s the transcript from the Vandals skit:

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/79/79avandals.phtml

Andrew Giangola

1/9/2014 01:09:36 am

Great points, GV. Very Nixonian in that Christie was up big in the polls. There's never a "need" to do this sort of thing, but like the Watergate break in, it clearly was not a situation of "desperate times calling for desperate measures." Paranoia and the desire to mete out unnecessary retribution must be active, rampant genes in most successful politicians.

George Vecsey

1/9/2014 01:28:09 am

Andrew: Good to hear from you...GV

Ed Martin

1/9/2014 04:24:53 am

Christie was the equivalent of "The Great White Hope" for Republicans hoping to escape from the Tea Party idiocy, racism and the new "War on Poverty" which now means war on the poor and needy.

The latest on someone who seems even worse, Florida Governor Rick Scott who was elected after serving as CEO of a healthcare company which was fined $1.6 BILLION for cheating Medicare and federal health programs--is that he very publicly adopted a dog from a shelter during his campaign, named the dog "Reagan" and returned him quietly to the shelter after he was elected. Ugh for both.

George Vecsey

1/9/2014 08:31:27 am

I agree. Scott is skin-crawling worse.

John McDermott

1/9/2014 09:07:14 am

Positively Nixonian. This puerile and vindictive stunt could have been conceived by Donald Segretti. Christie needs to go, far away. Maybe he and Spitzer could start a radio call-in show together...on some obscure AM station. And to think this clown was actually being talked up seriously as a presidential candidate. Is this really where we are when it comes to finding new leaders?

Brian Savin

1/9/2014 01:37:37 pm

OK, but let's consider. #1. The jury is out in my opinion on the NJ Gov. One needs to be responsible for one's appointments, but on that basis alone our President is just as guilty (and that's being kind and I can and will name names). The bigger question is whether the Gov is ignorant and/or maliciously uncaring or worse regarding his appointments. On that basis, he is more suspicious than our President, because he, the Gov, is just plain smarter, albeit perhaps not nicer, and did not likely leave the appointments to his handlers, as did our President. #2. His press conference and subsequent contrition is not convincing, at least to this old time Republican. But I surmise he knows the difference between right and wrong and just doesn't choose well. Do we forgive or not? That depends in my mind on how he conducts himself from here on -- if we can see through what comes next. Maybe we can't. I'm terribly disappointed in this guy choosing to act in the New Jersey Democratic Party tradition.

Thor A. Larsen

1/9/2014 11:40:53 pm

Brian, you stated that Gov. Christie is 'just plain smarter' than the President?? You MUST be kidding! It is totally incnceivable that Christie did not know about the closings. The idea of firing an aide, who had no authority to close the lanes was a stunt in theater, that some Republicans might buy, no one else. Yes, Christie is a better actor than the President, so he should seek a career on Broadway, not waste his time to seek a career at the White House.

Andrew Tansey

1/9/2014 01:38:30 pm

I'd like to see Christie, dressed in sumo or traditional Greco-Roman garb, go head-to-head with Putin. One of 'em'd probably get what he deserves. The camera could do cameos of Kim Jong Un, pursing his lips and half-heartedly clapping, and Rodman, preening, with audio commentary by Rush Limbaugh, Howard Stern or Imus. It's complicated.

George Vecsey

1/9/2014 02:58:45 pm

Putin is repulsive enough with his shirt off.
Imagine Christie.
But even more repulsive is Chrstie's eye-rolling when he tells another one.
I heard him on the radio today. Oddly enough, while stuck on the 59th St. Bridge. (My lunch buddies said Christie did it.)
When I saw the video of the speech, I laughed out loud. He was far less convincing when you saw the furtive eyes, the pursed lips.
How Nixonian.
GV

Brian Savin

1/10/2014 01:09:10 pm

For me the issue boils down to this: Did his aids expect that the Governor would want them to behave the way they did? If so, that means he gave clear signals about behavior and expectations. It is also possible that the aids acted alone, because politics these days attracts the worst and the dumbest.

Here's an interesting question that I submit may be our real choice these days: who's preferable, a scuzzy leader who knows right from wrong and often chooses badly, or the Manchurian Candidate, who is a good person but is not the one in charge and those who are, aren't?

Ed martin

1/10/2014 03:25:54 pm

Brian, You recall the sign on Harry Truman's desk, "The Buck stops here.". Having served as staff on the Hill and "downtown," there is one cardinal rule, you do not act outside your "principal's" wishes and goals. The people involved knew Christie for years, what he wanted and what his codes of behavior would allow. this is the way it works at every level of government and in the private sector. people don't last on staff for five years or one year without understanding the rules.

Andrew Tansey

1/10/2014 09:08:56 pm

In a soccer game, in the 80th minute with a one goal lead, a player receives the ball on a breakaway and has only the opposing goalkeeper to beat to seal the match. The 'keeper slips, and the player is facing a wide open goal where a tap-in will suffice. With all of his might, he blasts the ball over the grandstand into the neighborhood streets. In the 82nd minute, the other team is attacking and trying to tie the match. He commits a violent foul on an opponent in his penalty area, giving the other team a penalty kick and receives a red card and is sent off, leaving his team playing a man down. The opponents go on to score two goals and win the match. Afterward, the player is interviewed. He says that he is ashamed, emabarrassed and humiliated by the actions of members of his team. Is this an accurate statement? Literally so.

But wait, I have EZ-Pass and occasionally have to drive into or through NJ. Shouldn't we be more careful about what we say and write in public forums? Couldn't they set up some sort of an alert system so that, as soon as my vehicle hits a toll booth, alarms go off in Trenton and the Authorities are alerted that "That troublemaker is on the Turnpike"? Am I the only one who worries about this stuff?

George Vecsey

1/11/2014 01:13:10 am

E-Z Pass probably the greatest single human invention of the last quarter century, maybe since penicillin -- better than any of Mr. Jobs' little diversions. E-Z Pass allows us to flit through the tolls.
But there is a price to pay. Clearly, we are making an electronic record of what state, what county, we are visiting. Down to the second.
Which reminds me. I once wrote a sports column advising an unwilling Met named Kevin McReynolds that the bridge to the rest of America was free -- but that it cost money to enter NYC -- and there was a very good reason for that. I told him it would cost him nothing to get out of town.
Good point: Big Brother (Very Big Brother, in this case) knows where we are at all times.
GV

Peter Kennedy link

1/14/2014 02:07:31 pm

Seriously, George: Kevin McReynolds? Here I am counting the days until Spring Training and looking forward to a new season of Mets baseball. We need 25 guys with fire raging in their bellies. Be well, my friend.

Brian Savin

1/11/2014 01:24:19 am

Andrew, I would recommend we all end our last email of every evening with a cheery,

Good night, Governor
Good night, NSA
and good night, Mrs. Callahan, wherever you are.

NSA

1/11/2014 02:26:48 am

Dear Sir, (and we know where you live), the correct phrase is "Good Night Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are."-- Jimmy Durante.

George Vecsey

1/11/2014 03:07:45 am

All, right, there are two versions of who Mrs. Calabash was. I like both -- Durante's late wife Jeanne Olsen, and a woman who ran a restaurant:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110402183124AAGurER

But getting back to the great Manning-the-Cones caper, one of my favorite web bloggers, somebody named Laura Vecsey, has delved into the fabled towers of Fort Lee for the real-estate site, Zillow:

http://www.zillow.com/blog/2014-01-10/fort-lee-nj/

GV

Andrew Tansey

1/11/2014 12:40:53 pm

Back to the original lead-in, from Saturday Night Live: Now we read that the genuine Mr. Richard Feder, of Fort Lee, NJ, who would continually write Roseanne Roseannadanna with questions, has spoken prominently about this! Mere coincidence?

It is a bit of a shame that, at one level, the behavior of jerks (I don't mean Mr. Feder - who was stuck in the jam - or Roseanne Roseannadanna) is so comedic.

Gene Palumbo

1/11/2014 11:39:37 am

Let’s assume, if only for the sake of argument, that Christie didn’t know ahead of time about the decision to close the lanes -- or didn’t give the order himself. Still, doesn’t it make sense to say that the first thing he would have done when the controversy broke out -- i.e. on the first day of the lane closings -- was call in his top staff members and say, “What the hell is going on here?” And given everything we’ve read about Christie and how he operates, can we really believe that those staff members would have refused to answer his question or lied to him about it? In other words, isn’t it very likely that he knew from the beginning (if not ahead of time) what he claims he’s only found out about now?

Alan Rubin link

1/12/2014 08:51:58 am

The Borough of Fort Lee, NJ deserved better!!

It is much more than the western anchor to the George Washington Bridge and a traffic conduit between New York and New Jersey.

There is a 33 acre Revolutionary War Memorial Park with breath-taking views of the Hudson River and the Manhattan skyline. Many of the initial battles were fought in Fort Lee and across the river in Washington Heights.

Fort Lee was the birthplace of the American movie industry, where the early westerns were filmed. The term “cliffhanger” originated out of the early serials filmed on the New Jersey Palisades in Fort Lee. Thomas Edison was also active there.

http://www.fortleefilm.org/history.html

Although I was born and raised in Manhattan’s Washington Heights and lived most of my adult working life on the Upper Westside, Teaneck, NJ was my home from 1947-1961. New Jersey gets a bad rap for many things, most of them are probably justified, but I have fond memories of my formative years living there.

My soccer career started at Teaneck JH in 1948 and I’m still working on it.

I met my wife, a native of Passaic, while working for Foster Wheeler in Carteret. We were married in NJ. Still working on that, too.

I passed through Fort Lee six days a week for twenty four years commuting from Suffern, NY work at 98th and Broadway in Manhattan. Traffic moved relatively well during the construction of the GWB’s lower level and exit ramps. The Port Authority was probably not as politicized then.

My son often worked in my store on Saturdays when he was in high school. It was a ritual to leave early to have French toast at the Plaza Diner in Fort Lee on the way in.

Bill Miller’s Rivera was a popular night club on route 9W just north of the bridge in Fort Lee. Next to it was a very popular lover’s lane. When the club was demolished for the construction of the Palisade Interstate Parkway, Fort Lee insisted that there be a safe place for young romance. Two parkway overlooks were initially planned, but a third was added just above the bridge to accommodate Fort Lee’s request.

Fort Lee was also home to Leonard “Buddy” Hackett, one of my favorite comedians, even if you leave out his off-color jokes. I could not find a video of the following story; but it loses a lot in the reading.

The Hackett’s, at least his wife, kept a kosher home. Buddy tells of coming home very late from performing in Manhattan and wanting something to eat. In kosher homes, meat and dairy utensils are kept separate.

For some reason, he decided to use a meat knife to put cream cheese and jelly on a piece of toast. As by some heavenly signal, his wife woke and caught him.

She was FURIOUS and demanded that he kasher the knife (make it kosher again for meat) by burying it. She stormed off to bed and slammed the bedroom door. Hackett went outside to bury the knife and the door slammed behind him. He rang the doorbell but his wife was so angry she refused to answer. He called her, below the bedroom window, but she refused to answer.

The neighbors hearing him banging on the door and shouting at his wife, called the police. Two cops came to the Hackett household and asked Buddy what was up. He started to tell them that he was locked out. He said his wife had been furious with him. And they saw the hole he had dug in a shrub bed and the meat knife, with a glistening red blade.

Also, Buddy was only wearing a short night gown. The police asked him to raise his hands, but he refused.

They took him in, wrapping the knife for evidence, and other cops forced the door open, expecting to find the wife lying on the floor. She was even more furious that the door had been broken down. At the police station, Hackett demanded that they examine the knife which they discovered was smeared with cream cheese and strawberry jelly.

There are many Jews who do not understand cleansing a knife by burial, but try explaining to Italian and Irish policemen at two in the morning wearing a short night gown.

Also, Buddy could tell a better story than Governor Christi. That is what happens when you elect a clown, rather than a comedian.
.

Thor A. Larsen

1/18/2014 02:38:37 am

More interesting news about the BIG BULLY in NJ:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/18/christie-sandy-money_n_4622869.html

Did Christie actually hold back Sandy $$ from mayor of Hoboken who did not support his election?? ----I think we are just in the beginning of a long soap opera on the subject of the fall of Humpty Dumpty!

George Vecsey

1/18/2014 07:53:12 am

Thor, we watched Kornacki's show Saturday morning..Gripping stuff. The Big Man had emissaries working the mayor over.
What a primer on a big-time schnorrer.
GV

Bob Badner

2/10/2014 04:55:38 am

George,
Enjoyed your piece on the person you've dubbed "Machine Gun Kelly." Arby's or Dunkin' Donuts would be too good for Ms. Kelly - better would be Krispy Kreme donuts - for they have more unhealthy ingredients than those 2 places. The amount of custard, vanilla creme, sugar glaze is enough to send a person into some kind of shock. I'll have something more for you on the Kelly to Wildstein now infamous email communication. My favorite days from SNL were with the original cast in the 70s. I was fortunate to know SNL director Dave Wilson when he was doing the show. Martin was fantastic in those skits. The key will be with all those emails and documents that have redactions on them. When those black marks get removed by order of the court, then we will find out who knew what when and when did that Donut Hustler in Trenton know what when. I'm surprised SNL didn't bring back Danny Ackroyd and Lorraine Newman for a Conehead sketch about "Yeah, and I was there moving the cones." Very funny, Christie - not only is he a bully, but he is a d-bag. Particular disturbing is how Christie distanced himself from Wildstein throwing him under the bus. The sooner the Hustler is removed from Trenton the better, one perk on the final ride - a stop at McD, Krispy Kreme, Baskin Robbins, etc. But yah, he wishes that he never scarfed that donut down on Letterman's show last year.
B

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January 09th, 2014

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