Reviews

Cardboard Baseball Gave Me a Royal Inspiration

8/6/2020

This baseball season may turn out to be a colossal gamble, but I am enjoying the cardboard fans in the stands, particularly these folks in Oakland.

I think I would like sitting with them in the stands on a warm East Bay afternoon.

Fact is, I miss human company, as my wife and I hunker down waiting for Jan. 21, when intelligent adults take back the country.

I miss my kids and I miss my grandkids. This elbow contact on our deck, when the weather cooperates, is not the same as hugging my family, or sitting indoors, or, imagine this, going out...somewhere.

Then I remembered the three people who inhabit our storage room in the basement -- present from our dear creative friend Rachel, who had these made up for her job, back a few years, when we all were younger.

(Let me add this: I have an Irish passport, courtesy of my maternal grandmother from Waterford, and I am very proud of it. My identification with the UK has way more to do with the National Theatre and Portrait Gallery than the royals, When I see these one-inch likenesses, I think of our friend Rachel, speaking up for Palestinians at a Seder on West End Avenue.

For all that, Queen Elizabeth II fits right in with our unused dining room. As I walk through, I find myself singing along with Paul:
Her majesty's a pretty nice girl,
But she doesn't have a lot to say. ...
Irreverent, I know.
Fact is, the Queen is one of the stable elders in the world today. What with Trump and Pence and Pompeo and Barr and that bunch, Americans are in no position to snicker at royals. Welcome upstairs for a while, Your Majesty. Let's sit and have a cuppa.

Did Charles ever look this militant on his best day? But he's doing a good job, guarding my wife's studio day and night.

Plus, as I walk past and give him a snappy salute from my ROTC days, I remember that Emma Thompson is a good friend of his, and always speaks well of him when she is interviewed. Whatever is good for Emma Thompson is good for me.

Until an adult leader takes control of the Covid virus and puts an end to this social-distancing, good old Charles serves a purpose,guarding the house, waiting, waiting, waiting...

It's true, Princess Diana looks a little stiff in our living room, but let me tell you about the time she and her two frisky little boys were guests in the Royal Box at the old Wimbledon, which was directly next to the open press area. Needless to say, we were all eyes for her, and the Beastie Boys of the British press were coming up with plummy accents and snide comments. And while we tried to covertly look at Diana, I noticed that her eyes, like lasers, were scanning the doings around her. She was looking at us! Curiously, like, who are those people, and what do they do, and are they having a good time? She was out and about, not at all rigid, clutching her purse, like in this cardboard version.  Her eyes saw all.
So, welcome to our living room. May I take your coat? please, have a seat.
May we offer you a glass of wine?
What do you think of Brexit?
How do you like Boris Johnson?
We hear you are working to to sort out this Covid mess.
We apologize for our buffoon.
My wife's been working on our family trees: her roots in Lancashire include William the Conqueror; my middle name is the same as your family name --Spencer, from my mom, born in England.
* * *
We still miss our family and friends, but in a weird way, thanks to baseball, our living room lives again.
Thanks to our friend Rachel for these vital presences.

Alan Rubin link

8/6/2020 05:43:30 pm

George-

The cardboard characters in your basement seem to show more humanity than the many real-life stiffs who permeate our current administration.

Ever since I built a simple crystal radio at about age ten, I have been fascinated with things technical. It was a matter of touching a connected wire to a crystal and listening to whatever frequency it picked up, in this case WOR.

My dad and my mother’s cousin were electronic genises, however, my understanding was serviceable and basic. The same is true with today’s technology.

I can design drag and drop web sites without having more than a very basic understanding of coding. George and I do this with Weebly.

I can spend hours developing files with Excel and Access that could have esily been put on paper. It is a challange to get many differnt files to interact. Althought it takes a while to create them, the data is easily manipulated and available instantly.

Then there is Zoom chat with all its imperfections. Families can stay in touch, students and adults alike can take online classes. Family members, both near and far, communicate regularly. It does not replace the outside back deck get togethers with up to six people, but it helps to maintain one’s humanity.

An electronic product has come along and is maturing just when it was most needed.

Tom Schwarz

8/6/2020 05:55:25 pm

Your royalty "trumps" my 3 stooges. I'm sure there is a lesson there!

bruce picken

8/6/2020 10:23:13 pm

george,

geez, royal cutouts on your blog....

unexpected, i'm going to have to go lie down.

i'm hoping we can get rid of the monarchy when liz dies.

it won't happen but i can dream.

aussies had a chance but they buggered it up.

bruce

George Vecsey

8/7/2020 03:41:34 pm

Alan,Zoom is a little skitterish sometimes. I couldn't get on one via iPhone today....missed a chat with some BB writer pals.
Tom: I'll take Curly, Moe and Larry over Elizabeth, Charles, and Diana, although the princess did have great eyes.
Bruce: c'mon, you Canadahooskies have a soft spot for the royals. Plus you-all took in the ex-royals when they got out of Dodge.
GV

bruce picken

8/7/2020 03:48:41 pm

george,

not this canuckistani.

it's an odd thing.

support and anti doesn't seem to be generational.

i had an aunt in nova scotia who wouldn't use a stamp unless it had the queen's face on it.

bruce

Gene Palumbo

8/7/2020 08:32:59 pm

Here on this blog where we talk about baseball, Alan mentions WOR, and immediately I'm taken back to those Saturday nights in the 50s when, on WOR, Jean Shepherd, live from the Limelight Cafe in the Village, regaled us with stories, sometimes about baseball. I'd give anything to hear again the one he told about the aging relief pitcher, on the brink of being sent down to the minors, surely never to return. Whether he's sent, or isn't, will depend on how well he does when he's called in, in the late innings of an important game. Shepherd described him, windbreaker over his pitching arm, trudging in from the bullpen for the make-or-break appearance. Doesn't get any better than that. If anyone has a link for a sacred space on the internet where that tale can be found, I'd be ever so grateful.

Alan Rubin link

8/8/2020 07:31:07 am

Gene, Jean Shepherd was a gem. His way of talking blended well with his ideas.

One of my favorites was during the time that the NYC police were advocating for protective vests. It was a big controversy and the city said that they could not afford them.

Gene suggested that they put the Sunday NYT under their shirts saying, "bullets would never hurt them as everyone knew that it took all-day to get through the paper.

Henry Morgan, from an earlier time, was also a maverick radio personality. I used to listen to him as a five year old with the radio under my covers since he was on after my bedtime. He created the ads that mocked the advertiser.

He recommended that people go down to Adler Shoes and say the Old Man Adler sent them. Adler canceled the adds until he learned that people were doing just that, coming in and asking for Old Man Adler.

The ads returned.

Another was about Gillette safety razor in which a man save two seconds shaving with the new super speed razor, left early for work and was hit by a bus. "If that man had not used the new razor, he would be alive today."

We could use some of that today.

bruce picken

8/8/2020 09:26:27 am

alan,

you are a treasure trove of memories.

i remember morgan from appearances on talk shows and i've got a secret.

also, for being crotchety.

bruce

bruce picken

8/8/2020 09:30:18 am

alan,

i posted a comment and got the confirm email, but it isn't showing.

bruce

bruce picken

8/8/2020 10:20:53 am

took a while but it showed up.

perhaps your dear leader has the nsa monitoring canadians commenting on george's blog who might be national security threats to the usa.

almost as dangerous as aluminum.

EH!?

George Vecsey

8/8/2020 11:01:12 am

Gene;
https://shepquest.wordpress.com/2013/04/03/jean-shepherd-take-me-out-to-the-ballgame/
This article talks about Shepherd's love of baseball but does not mention the talk about the relief pitcher. I tried googling it but nothing that specific showed up. He must have told thousands of stories, some of them gone into the ether.
We listened to him when I was in junior high school, and talked about his show as we took the subway (E,Ftrain, then the GG to Rego Park). Manic little junior-high boys could remember entire swatches of monologues.
Some stories stick with you. I can remember Garrison Keillor's story about a pioneer who wanted to see the Pacific Ocean but died in the interior...and his wife or kid eventually took his ashes and scattered them off the coast of Oregon or something like that.
Now everybody has podcasts...but is there a Jean Shepherd or Garrison Keillor on the radio? GV

Alan Rubin

8/8/2020 10:57:27 am

Bruce, My enjoyment of trivia and having an excellent recall of prior events seems to serve me well. Although life is about living in the present and anticipating the future, one’s past is an ever-growing reservoir of enjoyment.

I do not know how much listening to Henry Morgan from the age of five has influenced me, but I can find humor in the most trying of situations. Obviously, this does not apply to illness and death.

I have often gotten through difficult times by laughing at myself. This has also worked in my mentoring and coaching as youngsters often can relate to the humor of some of their mistakes. Too many teachers and coaches try to have everyone fit into a desired mold instead of encouraging and building upon their individuality.

You should enjoy this link to Old Tine Radio’s page on Morgan.

https://www.otrcat.com/p/henry-morgan

All of Morgan's shows were ad-libed, with no rehearsal or studio audience required. Some infamous comments against his sponsor came against the Life Savers Company, where he accused the company of bamboozling the public by boring holes through their candies, while he offered to advocate his own brand of "Morgan's Mint Middles." He usually closed all his shows while referring to himself in the third person, "Morgan'll be on this same corner in front of the cigar stand next week at this same time."

He also did a piece about a soda developer who stopped at “6 -Up”. Morgan commented about how close he came to today's popular drink that is one number higher.

I long for the days of Gene Shepherd and Henry Morgan when humor did not rely upon four-letter words for support.

And a note to the sponsor. None of these great dialogs would be happening if not for George’s enlightened web site.

bruce picken

8/8/2020 02:47:31 pm

alan,

i have a great long term memory.

the opposite of that for short term.

i'm 70. my earliest memories are from TV.

i can watch 'the honeymooner' from my igloo in canada every saturday night on wpix. the opening with the moon becoming gleason's face, the skyline, the other stars' names and the music give me waves of nostalgia like i'm in kindergarten again.

doesn't matter how often i see it.

don't know if you're aware tim hortons donut chain, but it is in the usa now after starting in hamilton, ontario in 1964.

they thought of the donut hole thing and started making timbits which was supposed to be the hole.

i'll have a listen to the radio broadcast in a bit.

thanks.

bruce

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Cardboard Baseball Gave Me a Royal Inspiration

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