White House Nursery
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Trump:
We regret to inform you that your son Donald has once again violated the basic norms of behavior for our nursery.
As you know, we have spoken to you about this before. When Donald was admitted, school psychologists expressed grave concern about what they felt was sociopathic behavior.
You will recall, a minority of staff members persuaded the majority to accept Donald.
In recent days, his conduct has been unacceptable.
On an outing to a Boy Scout rally, he delivered a soliloquy on subjects having nothing to do with scouting. We have heard from the Scouts that his comments were not appreciated.
Then, on a visit to a police ceremony on Long Island, he urged them to commit violence to people under their control. Many people in law enforcement were insulted by this talk from a child, and have told us so.
In short, we can’t take him anywhere.
Donald also makes threats about staff members, including the very experts hired to scrutinize him and help him.
Our staff psychologist has identified his behavioral type as “The Little Dictator” – and tells us this condition begins in the home and, unless modified, can lead to real danger in the outside world.
To make things worse, Donald seems drawn to other badly-behaved children, especially a new boy whom I will identify only as “Mooch.” They goad each other into crude language and blatant threats to more pacific students in our school.
As we made clear when you beseeched us to accept him, we reserve the right to expel a child who disrupts the entire school. We feel his behavior predicts future danger for himself, unless you get him help.
As of this letter, Donald is on final probation. One more outburst and we will have to expel him, for the good of our nursery and as a warning to society.
With our sincere best wishes,
"Among the things that have long fascinated people about Jesus and explain his enduring appeal is his method of dialogue and teaching. "He asked a lot of questions and told a lot of stories in the form of parables. In fact, parables form about a third of Jesus’ recorded teachings. The Gospels were written decades after he died, so his questions and parables clearly left a deep impression on those who bore testimony to him....
"Some of Jesus’ questions were rhetorical; others were meant to challenge or even provoke. In some cases, Jesus used questions to parry attacks by religious authorities who set traps for him. In others, he used questions to enter more fully into the lives of others and to help people look at the state of their hearts. He asked people about their fears and their faith. Jesus used questions to free a woman caught in adultery from condemnation and to inquire whether people considered him to be the Messiah. He probed deeply into questions not many had asked before him, like “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”
---(Peter Wehner, long-time White House consultant and writer, in the NYT last week about Jesus Christ’s method of teaching by asking questions.)
"Would that I could mention all the illuminating details in this biography, for example, why Wells praised Black Americans so highly, saying, 'I took a mighty liking to these gentle, human, dark-skinned people,' and 'Whatever America has to show in heroic living today, I doubt if she can show anything finer than the quality of the resolve, the steadfast efforts hundreds of black and colored men are making today to live blamelessly, honorably and patiently, getting by themselves what scraps of refinement, beauty and learning they may, keeping their hold on a civilization they are grudged and denied.''
-- "How H.G. Wells Predicted the 20th Century," Charles Johnson, NYT Book Review, Nov. 19, 2021. ***".
...the monsters arrive."
"They come in a deafening, surging swarm, blasting from lawn to lawn and filling the air with the stench of gasoline and death. I would call them mechanical locusts, descending upon every patch of gold in the neighborhood the way the grasshoppers of old would arrive, in numbers so great they darkened the sky, to lay bare a cornfield in minutes. But that comparison is unfair to locusts.
"Grasshoppers belong here. Gasoline-powered leaf blowers are invaders, the most maddening of all the maddening, environment-destroying tools of the American lawn-care industry."
---The great Margaret Renkl, from Nashville, one of my favorite NYT bylines, Oct. 26, 2021.
(She describes our Long Island enclave to every decibel, every stink.)