The Kavanaugh hearings have reminded me of two milestones in my own life.
One milestone came in my last few years of full-court basketball, in my late 30s, with players ranging from recent high-school varsity players to elders in their 40s. From fall to winter to spring, every Monday in the late ‘70s, the players in “adult rec” changed in one wing of the locker room while the boys on the varsity changed in the other wing. Over a row of lockers, I could hear the current jocks talking about life and times, but mostly girls – that is, who did what, and how often, and with whom. It was graphic and it was personal. This was before social media. Whether it was true or not, it was out there. This did not sound like my high school jock experience in the 1954 and 1955 soccer seasons. I am told that teen-age sex had been discovered back then, but boys did not talk about it in open locker rooms. I went home and told our two daughters, both coming along in the schools, “Boys will talk.” And some girls would be treated as prey. My second milestone came up the other day when the nominee for the Supreme Court – the Supreme Freaking Court – was recalling his idyllic days as student-athlete in a prep school (a Jesuit school, at that.) He seemed to retain the impression that some girls were from their crowd while others were outside their “social circle.” (The Jesuit magazine, America, has withdrawn its support for Kavanaugh's candidacy.) What happened to the dignified lady who testified is now up to the FBI. What a wonderful idea -- calling in professionals instead of relying on dotty senators. The hearing reminded me of my week in a rehab center early in 1981, when I was 41. I was working on a book with Bob Welch, the young pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers, who had gone into rehab after blanking out in alleys and hotel corridors on the road. Bob was now sober – had pitched well for the Dodgers in 1980 – and I wanted to know what rehab had been like for him. The center – The Meadows, in Wickenburg, Ariz., said I could attend for a week, but I would have to participate in group sessions, not merely observe. One of the first things I noticed at The Meadows was that some people started off accepting that they were powerless. They were sad, and tried to deal with the feelings that made them drink or take drugs or abuse sex. But others were adamant that they had no problem. Why were people saying these things about them? Why were they making up stuff? And most of all – with volume rising and face distended and arms flailing – why the f--- didn’t people believe them? Why was everybody against them? Bluster seemed to be their stock in trade. Ward off the accusations with a swat at the air, a sneer, a bellow. I learned a lot at The Meadows. The sessions shook off a few memories of shame when I drank too much, smarted off too much. I learned I did not have to drink when I didn’t feel like it, which is now almost all the time. I had a great teacher. My friend Bob Welch stayed sober (as far as I know), day by day, for the rest of his too-short life. He knew himself. He knew the nature of the beast. One time he and my teen-age son Dave and I were in a restaurant in Montreal, and Bob was doing the play-by-play of the dining room. “Look at that guy,” Bob would say. “He wants to pour for everybody. That’s so he can drink more. Watch.” Sure enough, the stranger would cajole his companions to top off their glasses, so he could refill his. I learned from dear friends like Bob Welch and my recent pal (he knows who he is) who fight off the beast, day by day, and acknowledge it, and share the struggle. The book, "Five O'Clock Comes Early." is still out there. C.C. Sabathia of the Yankees relied on it when he checked into rehab. I thought about Bob the other day when I was watching a candidate for the Supreme Court who, when confronted with touching testimony (if murky external details), resorted to baiting senators: What do you drink, Senator? Did you ever black out, Senator? Maybe that is the combative reaction of a former high-school jock who (as he reminded us a time or two) lifted weights and played hoops back then, all summer long. Doesn't seem very judicial to me. Channeling my late friend Bob Welch, I reacted to the visceral bluster on the screen. “Whoa,” I said. “Whoa.”
Sam Toperoff
9/30/2018 05:22:09 am
George--I was very impressed with your analysis of the last Kavanaugh testimony. I admired you essay particularly because after watching his testimony I was unable to capture for myself in any kind of coherent way what I felt and believed. Let me clarify: When there is a he said/ she said, there is by definition no way to determine truth absolutely, so we are usually ruled in our judgment by gender, ideology or political affiliation. You however, came to your conclusion based on personal experience and careful observation, which, imperfect as it may be, is the best way of making the judgment. I did the same. Only you brought together your observation of a certain jock mentality with a deeper experience of alcoholic behavior. That's why I'm tipping my hat.
George Vecsey
9/30/2018 05:52:00 pm
9/30/2018 12:26:47 pm
Sam Toperoff
10/2/2018 03:42:24 am
George--I just want to clarify--I got my Senators wrong--it was Whitehouse of R.I. to whom Kavanaugh said, "And what do you drink, Senator?" To Klubuchar he only said, "Have you ever blacked out, Senator?" 10/2/2018 01:16:05 pm
I became interested in politics at age 13 after following the 1948 Truman-Dewey presidential race. Truman won the election in a surprise upset with a six month whistle-stop campaign from the back of trains. He was also helped by the positive effects of the Berlin airlift and Marshall Plan.
Gene Palumbo
10/4/2018 07:26:27 pm
Check out George's tribute to his former colleague, Dave Anderson, in today's (Thursday's) Times:
Joshua Rubin
10/5/2018 09:15:38 am
Just read George's tribute. Nicely done.
George Vecsey
10/5/2018 02:32:23 pm
Yes, I started travelling with a computer around 1981 -- clunky KayPro, I think.
Mike from Whitestone
10/5/2018 11:47:32 am
GV
George Vecsey
10/5/2018 02:36:27 pm
Mike: Thanks. I learned so much from Bob. The day Jack Clark won the NLCS off Niedenfuer, I went to the Dodger clubhouse. Bob was one of the few players there. He said, "The guys are out in the back getting hammered. I choose not to." He verbalized it., He was nervous, pacing, knowing he could get hammered a few yards beyond the back door -- but he chose not to. He talked about it a lot, because it helped. Got him through. best GV 10/5/2018 04:59:11 pm
Nice tribute to Dave Anderson. I always enjoyed his work.
Brian Savin
10/8/2018 02:45:45 pm
Alcohol
Brian Savin
10/8/2018 05:52:30 pm
Correction: I would guess “Grandpa” wasn’t much more than 17 or 18 when he gave up beer.
Gene Palumbo
10/9/2018 09:17:32 pm
After quoting a person who praised Maine Senator Susan Collins' speech in support of Kavanaugh, Brian says, "She may have saved our Democracy." Others see it very differently. For example:
George Vecsey
10/10/2018 12:27:23 pm
I knew Collins would fold. And I knew Manchin would fold. Guess his big lead wasn't big enough. Amazing how poor people in W VA and Maine vote for people who act against their interests. GV
Brian Savin
10/10/2018 07:42:06 pm
Just a note for history. Senator Collins’ speech will go down in history as one of the greatest ever delivered from a Senator because it evaluated testimony and facts objectively and intelligently in the context of moral values. And it has been widely recognized as such and praised. Gene, i can’t say the same for your post. You haven’t even tried. George, you are being fearful of objective outcomes. Given your prejudices, you have good reason. Hopefully, you two are adult enough to recognize that opinions need objective basis that can be articulated. Try again. Best, Brian
Gene Palumbo
10/11/2018 02:27:07 pm
Brian,
Brian Savin
10/11/2018 07:17:55 pm
Gene, you haven’t even tried. Don’t bother to respond to me. You’re not being honest or honestly responsive. I’ve gone as far as I can with you in our private emails. Consider that maybe you are too far away and probably way too removed to understand what we are experiencing. Watch Senator Collins speech and the give me intelligent analysis. Trust me to respect it. In the meantime, I recommend everyone watch it. It’s universal.
George Vecsey
10/11/2018 08:47:59 pm
Brian, you are way out of line. You are stating that a journalist with a great education who is spending much of his life in another region of the world cannot keep up with social media, "papers," web sites, tv and radio? The world is connected these days, honest. If you say that the two of you represent different points of view, that's one thing. But somebody living elsewhere is out of touch? Your attitude -- "don't talk to me anymore" -- is childish and condescending to the extreme. 10/11/2018 10:32:19 pm
WAMC is my local NPR station out of Albany. The 9:00 to 10:30 am segment of their daily Roundtable is a panel discussion that has between 4-6 participants. They include journalists, political scientists, former members of the federal government and experts in various fields. One was in President Obama’s EPA and others leaders in local politics and journalism. Malcolm Nance, author of “The Plot to Destroy Democracy: How Putin and his Spies Are Undermining America and Dismantling the West.” Appears whenever he is in town.
Gene Palumbo
10/12/2018 10:04:12 am
Thanks for writing at length, Alan. What you've said here is very helpful. Comments are closed.
|
Categories
All
|